the bigger picture

i am reminded to stay centered and focused on the bigger picture of my life. the bigger picture is how the universe sees me and the part i play while i live here on earth. when i am able to focus for a time on this... WOW! i remember why i chose to be here, why i chose all the details of my life so that all would blend perfectly with creation. the times i cannot stay centered, i feel my physical pain more deeply, allowing my brain to spin in circles. this creates a day or two of inactivity, boredom, time that feels unproductive even as i am living it. i know why i am here and that brings such joy! i understand i have work to accomplish in service that brings great peace in just thinking about it. so i question why i seem to become lazy when there is so much to do? i may never know the answer, perhaps one is continue with self-healing and honoring each day even if i do not approve of how i spent the time. another is allowing myself to feel the awesome love of the universe every day, not just occasionally and asking in learning how not only to be gentle to my heart when my brain says i am slacking and finally always asking for support. it is always there.